My girlfriend needs to lose weight but wont

I'm worried about my girlfriend. We have been together for 2 and a half years and she has gained almost 100 pounds. She wasnt insanely skinny before but she was healthy. Over the past 2 years or so she has gained a lot of weight in a very short period of time. She doesnt binge or eat eally unhealthy but she isnt active at all. I think she used to go out and do stuff before we met but now she really doesnt do anything except go to work and then come home and play on the internet or watch tv. She went on a diet a while back but didnt like it so she quit. We have talked about it and she says she wants to lose weight but that's about as far as we ever get. I bought her a bowflex because she said she would use it and she did for about a week and then never touched it again. It sit's in a spare bedroom all packed up and useless. Now anytime I try to talk to her about it she gets upset and the conversation is pretty much over. She says "i know baby, its just hard" and then she cries and I can't really talk to her about it anymore. I'm lost on what to do. I love her and am not going to break up with her or anything, but i want her to be healthy and happy. what do?

Answers:

My recommendation is to start doing ALL of the grocery shopping and tell you SO that you really want to make an effort to eat healthier. Stop buying junk food altogether if you can. If you can't, buy the 100 calorie pack versions, that way it requires more effort to over-eat, and there is the mental double check when you've got multiple wrappers in front of you. Load up on fruits & veggies and make them always available. Buy lower calorie bread - the sara lee delightful is very low cal. When you buy meat, get the extra lean kind to get rid of all the excess, high calorie fat. When you buy hot dogs, either get the oscar meyer 98% fat free kind, or the Hebrew National 98% fat free kind (the latter taste better IMO). Buy the cheese made with 2% milk. Switch to 1% or 2% milk instead of whole. Cut out the soda if you can, but if you can't, go diet. Stay away from nuts and sunflower seeds -- they're very high in calories.

Just putting some effort into eating healthier choices will make you take in fewer calories, without diet mentality. One other thing is that you need to make an effort to eat in when you can. Eating out a lot is a sure fire way to pack on calories because portion size is typically way out of whack.

***

Come up with fun, easy to start exercises that the two of you can do together. Then start yourself; invite her to join you. Don't make it out to be "this is to get you skinny", but rather "this is to spend time together and enjoy the weather, etc.".

I'm not saying anything radical, either. I'm talking about going for a walk at a nearby park or something similar. If it helps, you can start building off of it. Instead of a walk, a light jog. Instead of the park, a hiking trail, etc.

Keep in mind, though, that weight loss is almost entirely mental. You have to be sensitive, cautious, and very supportive. Whatever you do, don't make her feel like she's failing at any given time, it could very well destroy her progress.

***

Everyone keeps mentioning exercise, but if this isn't a medical problem, I can absolutely guarantee you that she should focus on eating healthy and reasonably. Weight loss is 85% dietary change. I myself have lost 65 pounds simply from eating better than I used to (though I've now started working out). Like her, I disliked exercise because it was a struggle to just do anything nevermind actually work out efficiently.

Food is key. Doing some light exercising (which is all obese people can really do) is not going to offset eating fast food and consuming thousands of calories. And if she thinks that she isn't eating that much, make her track her calories, carbs and fat intake for a week. I guarantee you she'd be shocked. I used to think I ate about 2000 calories a day but it was more like 4000. It because I ate crappy foods, and would eat more than necessary.

Best advice for that I have: eat until you're no longer hungry, not until you're full. Being full is the sign you've eaten too much, not the correct amount. And by the way, she needs to do this for herself. Not because she wants to look good for you, or whatever. She needs to TRULY believe in wanting to change, otherwise she won't have the inner willpower to actually keep a change going.

While exercise is important, it's not necessary at this point if it will depress her like it did me. Changing what/how much you eat is a lot easier, and will make her see results the same at this point.