Do you have to be friends first before dating, or do you jump in and get to know them while dating?

When you're interested in someone do you like to get to know them first or get to know them while dating?

I've always got to know someone while dating them and it never worked out too well for me. Lately, i think knowing them for awhile first may work better...for me anyway.

Answers:

Every time I tried to be friends before because I wanted to know the girl better, I got the "Sorry, I see you as a friend" when asking the girl out.

So now I make my move pretty quickly.

Rejection hurts less when you don't know what you're missing out yet.

***

Straight-forward dating. Befriending them beforehand has been misinterpreted as fake-nice-guy-ism in the past.

Honestly, I think getting to know people you date beforehand works better for women than men. Women often get offended when a friend confesses attraction because "they just faked the friendship to get into their pants".

***

I'm a friends before dating kind of guy.

First off, let me be honest in saying that I'm not that great looking. I've made up with it by being charismatic and good at talking with women, but to be frank I'm not really too successful with a girl just meeting me and then me asking them out and saying yes. Most girls are attracted to me but getting to know me more.

This also works out for me because it'll actually be beneficial for both parties. Usually when I'm single I'm not really too much on the prowl but appreciate companionship. So I really enjoy being friends with girls cause it'll mean that I will essentially get all that I want out of a girlfriend without the messy bits.

But, the one thing I make sure to be understood from the beginning with a girl that I potentially want to date is that I don't want to be in the friend zone. Oddly enough it's not actually that hard not to fall into it. I just make it a point to tell the girl that while I'm her friend that I think that she is attractive and that I am attracted to her. I also make sure to keep a good balance between me hanging out with her and me having my time away from her. And most importantly, I make sure not to cross the threshold when the girl I'm interested in starts confiding in me stuff that "wouldn't tell anyone else". That's a direct route to the friend zone and I am frank with them and say that I'm not their boyfriend, so I don't want to deal with matters like that.

Usually at this point they've gotten a chance to get to know me and then it's up to them to decide if they want to reciprocate feelings towards me. I already told this person that I'm interested in them so they can decide if they want something more.

While of course I've had girls who have ended up just being friends with it going no where, I can confidently say that the girls who I've dated this way have ended up having her and I having a much stronger relationship compared to girls who I just ended up dating immediately. Because we already knew that we clicked as friends that meant that we were okay with being around each other more, and now that we are able to open up to each other more it made the bond between us stronger. Also, I will say that breakups that eventually do happen are usually pretty clean with little blowback.

from reddit.

6:08 AM | 0 comments | Read More

STRONG urges? My friend the recovered drug addict has a cheat for you..

The story: So my friend lost a LOT because of her bad drug addiction. She went through rehab and the right channels and she's been doing really well for some time now. But she told me that it was extremely difficult at the beginning to get herself into a better frame of mind and avoid relapse (which she knew she had to as she witnessed personal friends of her have one relapse and OD - resulting in their death).

So at first her urges were nearly constant. She would take her mind off of these by turning Netflix on to a show she really enjoyed. Then she would say to herself:

if I really need to do drugs after I finish this episode, I'll do them.

Naturally, when she was done with an episode, she would move on to the next episode, and tell herself again:

if I really need to do drugs after I finish this episode, I'll do them.

This went on until she had been clean for a few days, and then a week. When she was comfortable, she changed her admission to:

if I really need to do drugs tomorrow, then I'll do them.

She's been clean for months now with the help of her rehab, her counselor, her doctor and a handy medication she's taking that will make her violently ill if she does her drugs. And of course, with the help of this self-talk method.

I used it for several weeks to avoid fapping. Truthfully, it worked really well for me. To be honest, I've been forgetting to use it (or maybe I've been too afraid it'll work and then I'll have no excuse for when I go back to fapping).

Either way, I hope it'll help you.

***

Another thing that's worked for me.

I've watched tons of videos on how to lucid dream and they all tell you to say out loud as you're falling asleep, "I want to lucid dream. I am going to lucid dream tonight".

Naturally this works the same way with fapping. Everytime I get the urge to fap, I say out loud, "Do not fap, do not look at p**n", several times in a row. It's helped a lot for me, I hope it helps you guys.

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7:15 AM | 0 comments | Read More