Do you have to be friends first before dating, or do you jump in and get to know them while dating?

When you're interested in someone do you like to get to know them first or get to know them while dating?

I've always got to know someone while dating them and it never worked out too well for me. Lately, i think knowing them for awhile first may work better...for me anyway.

Answers:

Every time I tried to be friends before because I wanted to know the girl better, I got the "Sorry, I see you as a friend" when asking the girl out.

So now I make my move pretty quickly.

Rejection hurts less when you don't know what you're missing out yet.

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Straight-forward dating. Befriending them beforehand has been misinterpreted as fake-nice-guy-ism in the past.

Honestly, I think getting to know people you date beforehand works better for women than men. Women often get offended when a friend confesses attraction because "they just faked the friendship to get into their pants".

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I'm a friends before dating kind of guy.

First off, let me be honest in saying that I'm not that great looking. I've made up with it by being charismatic and good at talking with women, but to be frank I'm not really too successful with a girl just meeting me and then me asking them out and saying yes. Most girls are attracted to me but getting to know me more.

This also works out for me because it'll actually be beneficial for both parties. Usually when I'm single I'm not really too much on the prowl but appreciate companionship. So I really enjoy being friends with girls cause it'll mean that I will essentially get all that I want out of a girlfriend without the messy bits.

But, the one thing I make sure to be understood from the beginning with a girl that I potentially want to date is that I don't want to be in the friend zone. Oddly enough it's not actually that hard not to fall into it. I just make it a point to tell the girl that while I'm her friend that I think that she is attractive and that I am attracted to her. I also make sure to keep a good balance between me hanging out with her and me having my time away from her. And most importantly, I make sure not to cross the threshold when the girl I'm interested in starts confiding in me stuff that "wouldn't tell anyone else". That's a direct route to the friend zone and I am frank with them and say that I'm not their boyfriend, so I don't want to deal with matters like that.

Usually at this point they've gotten a chance to get to know me and then it's up to them to decide if they want to reciprocate feelings towards me. I already told this person that I'm interested in them so they can decide if they want something more.

While of course I've had girls who have ended up just being friends with it going no where, I can confidently say that the girls who I've dated this way have ended up having her and I having a much stronger relationship compared to girls who I just ended up dating immediately. Because we already knew that we clicked as friends that meant that we were okay with being around each other more, and now that we are able to open up to each other more it made the bond between us stronger. Also, I will say that breakups that eventually do happen are usually pretty clean with little blowback.

from reddit.